Listen and I will tell you all, a tale of horrors that did befall,
Our valiant hero who had no clue, what he had got himself into…
Our explorer, Sir Marcus Peel, a worthy chap with nerves of steel ,
Heard tell of rooms of treasure untold, of masks of lapis and of gold.
So off to Egypt by steam balloon, he flew at night by the light of the moon,
Until he landed with a thud, on the banks of the Nile, arse deep in mud.
He pulled out his map and then he cried… “I should have landed on the other side!”
“No Matter” said he and jumped in with a splash, he stared to swim and then he started to thrash…
For from the swirling depths of the Nile, did surface a gargantuan crocodile
“By Jove” said he “A mighty beast, it must be fifty feet at least!”
He squared himself and struck a pose, then thumped the blighter on the nose.
Shovel in hand and flask in pack, he hauled his rucksack on his back
And headed for the nearest tomb without a thought it could be his doom.
“Open up” he cried with a rap on the stone, but there was no answer save for a moan…
He set his blade into the door and levered it free with a mighty roar
He lit a torch and peered inside, “ye gads it smells like someone died”
On he marched into the pit, the walls cold stone, the floor deep grit
The passage shuddered and then it rumbled, the floor gave way, our hero tumbled
Into a pit that was filled with snakes, our hero charmed them and fed them cakes!
The snakes were full and fell asleep and Sir Peel went onward into the deep…
“What ho!” said he, and with a jump, he dodged poisoned arrows thud, thud thump.
“I say! this treasure hunting game, is getting dangerous what next? Flame?”
And sure enough from up on high, a flower of flame almost saw him die!
But Peel was still soaked through to the skin, he was not barbecued, no not him!
He wandered lonely through the maze, until treasures untold were in his gaze
He reached out a shaking hand to take, a low moan did stop him, “It’s all fake”
Peel spun around and did behold, an ancient mummy on a throne of gold.
The mummy coughed and said to Peel, “The whole lots useless, it is not even real!
There was no point to all your toil, the tourist board swapped it for wood and foil
They got into debt years ago and flogged the lot to “cash to gold!”
Our hero sighed and then he said “Well I’d best look elsewhere for treasure instead”
The adventures of Sir Marcus Peel will continue…